good luck movin up cause i’m….movin out!

i am happy to report that i am officially moved to seattle. i am exhausted but relieved that it’s done!

Despite the obligatory 20 minute search for my toothbrush on the first night, and the endless trudging back and forth from car to condo, this was the most streamlined and organized move i’ve had. it’s good to be back in seattle – it only took me a blissful 10 min. to get to work today (vs. more than an hour before), and i am looking forward to exploring the neighborhood.

i’m on a hunt for a good local coffee shop to call my own and haunt. unfortunately the coffeeshop i’m sitting in currently will not be it…oh well. one down, 1 gazillion to go!


April 30, 2008. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

everybody hurts…

thanks to andrea and the joys of email forwarding, my morning started off so well I had to share it with the blogosphere…

and my favorite….


April 23, 2008. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

elton said it first…

It seems like every time I make a bold statement that I am going to blog regularly, my brain promptly empties of ideas.  Well, I’m going to defy it’s stubborness and just write boring blogs until those creative juices start flowing again! 

This week I started a new schedule at work, 8-4:30.  As mentioned before, I’ve been opening and having to get up at the desolate hour of 4am so this is a welcome change.  I now have a renewed appreciation for routine.  Before, I would basically tumble blindly out of bed, straight into my car, and not really become conscious until a couple hours and cups of coffee later.  Now, I wake up with the sun, coffee is already made, other people are alive as well, and I can actually have a morning routine before heading off to work.  I am now a very cheerful person…and a safer driver!

I think that in some ways routine is of God…just as in some ways “cleanliness is next to godliness”.  I think they bring clarity of thought and require self-discipline.  Routine was, after all, created first thing; the sun rises and sets, the seasons change just when we need them to.

I guess it’s just the ciiiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiife….

April 5, 2008. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.


I am intrigued by how much media and tv reveal about the emotional place a particular culture is in, especially below the surface level.  For example, I’ve always loved media from the ’40s-’50s.  Granted, the content of these movies are a feminists’ nightmare, and they are often disregarded as unrealistically squeaky-clean.  But I personally believe that images of a warm home atmosphere, and simple, happy, silly stories were what people craved because real life contained the nightmare and after-effects of WWII and other social unrests.

That said, I wonder what our media says about us today?  I recently saw a couple clips on YouTube from two of my favorite shows when I was little: Wishbone and Ghostwriter.  Those shows held me absolutely spell-bound.  Now when I watch them it’s amazing how slow they were compared to the break-neck speed and exaggerated acting of kids shows today.  (Granted, I was a little homeschooled girl and watched PBS a lot…most kids were probably watching Nickelodeon which is a more logical precursor to what we see today on Disney channel etc.)  But these shows are so flashy and over-stimulating, I can’t help but think it’s corroding the attention-span of these kids who will then move on to MTV (ugh).

I remember when Survivor first came out, and while I was mildly entertained I still expected the reality genre to fizzle out quickly.  Instead, reality tv has grown and morphed into sub-genres, and now seems to comprise 80% of what we watch today.  Granted, there are some great reality shows out there.  I’m currently addicted to John and Kate Plus 8 (TLC) and try never to miss an episode of Project Runway.  But most of the shows are so trashy…and they will probably continue on.  Networks love them because they’re so cheap to make.

I guess, ultimately it doesn’t matter that so much of our media is of poor quality, as of course there are still excellent shows out there.  And, ultimately there are higher and better things than tv to look to for inspiration.  But, I just wonder…where will we be in 10 years??

March 27, 2008. tv, Uncategorized. Leave a comment.


I just found this video from a few years ago….we can’t stop watching it….poor Mikey!]

February 2, 2008. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Sleep…don’t weep…

I just don’t know what to do.  My sleeping patterns are so messed up —  I need help and advice!

 I’ve talked already about my early morning schedule.  Since October, I have had a 5-5:30am start time at work.  Since I’m commuting from Lynnwood to SoDo area, that means wake-up time is approximately 4:10am.  After experimenting with various alarm clocks, I think I have the waking-up part down.  But I just can’t figure out my sleep schedule!  I just can’t!

The challenge is actually getting at least 7 hours of sleep.  What I’ve been doing lately is taking a major nap…and by major I mean deeeeeep sleep complete with dreams and REM cycles, and then at night I sleep from approximately 10:30pm-4am.   But I never see the sun this way.

I’ve also tried staying awake throughout the day and trying to sleep as early as 8:30pm, but if I’m not tired I just end up losing out.

I don’t know if anyone who reads this blog is or has been an early riser?  I need advice!  Trust me it’s for the good of everyone…I get really weepy when I’m tired!! 🙂

January 24, 2008. Uncategorized. 3 comments.

A Little Bit More

I enjoy setting goals almost as much as I enjoy making lists, so here is my newest resolution:  One blog a week (possibly on Sundays?).  I am also going to try and journal more about concrete things going on in my life (instead of always attempting the exhaustingly impossible task of understanding the Purpose of Life, or the Meaning of Time, etc. etc.  These sorts of blogs might give the impression that I am the sort of person who sits moodily staring out the window and listening to Damien Rice all the time…and while I have been known to do both those things on occasion, I would not define myself by them.)  Anyway.  I have had an aversion to blogging too much about personal life, in the fear of blogging TOO much about personal life.  But that is changing now.  That said, I will now stop blogging about blogging and continue on.  Here is the latest in my world: 

My beloved Dell died.  He attempted to take all my music and pics along with him, but thanks to my dad mostly everything is recovered.  I have now switched to a MacBook, and I’m still adjusting but I like it.  I was only vaguely aware at the time that by switching over I was stepping into the midst of a major Nerd War between PC and Mac lovers…

I was offered a permanent position at work, and am officially no longer Ryan-the-Temp.  I love my job and this is a huge relief…when I found out I physically felt a burden lift off my back that I didn’t even know was there!  Job security is a good feeling.

Saw ‘27 Dresses’ this weekend.  I give it a C+, but I still liked it because I’m pretty sure that sap runs in my veins instead of blood.  Still, I compare every romantic comedy I see to While You Were Sleeping, and this one fell far short.   

So, until next week!  Happy Monday everyone 🙂

January 21, 2008. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Next Time, This Time

Part of me hesitated to make resolutions this new year because everyone always makes resolutions (and rarely keeps them).  But of course it doesn’t make sense not to do something just because everyone else does.  For one thing, a life lived like that would be void of Coldplay!

So, my main resolution this year is to make decisions simply and promptly, and without so much agonizing deliberation.  This pertains to everything from what to get to eat, to whether I should go somewhere, to what I should do with my future.  By forgoeing analization, I don’t mean to let go of wisdom.   But my perspective on wisdom has shifted lately.

I think about having wisdom constantly.  Especially in the little everyday things.  I do my best to make wise decisions as I work, eat, plan my day, and interact with others.  But the other day I suddenly had this feeling like something was off in my perspective about wisdom.  In trying to figure out what it was, I found my mind drifting back to dark and early mornings at the small library of the YWAM base in Montana.  In a determined search for just a couple minutes of alone time,  I used to sneak over there before breakfast and have devotions.  At the time I was reading through Proverbs.  Naturally, I found the book to be full of advice for everyday living.  But I also found a somewhat surprising concept repeated over and over: the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge…Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil…The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

I’m coming to the realization that my previous desire for “wisdom” (as well as the way I made decisions) was self-focused.  It was ultimately driven by the fear of man, not the fear of God.  I wanted to make wise choices in order to be perfect in the eyes of others and myself.  As Keith Green said, “it’s so hard to see when my eyes are on me”!  I am only beginning to understand what it means to fear the Lord, but that is my new focus and I look forward to a purified form of wisdom, more mysterious and ancient than any I could craft myself.

January 6, 2008. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

frames can’t catch you when you’re moving like that

To me, the passing of time is something that is both frightening and fascinating.  I believe it’s good that 99% of the time, we live life without noticing that the days themselves are slipping away.  The ticking of the clock is drowned out by the sounds of our thoughts and words, the urgency of our to-do lists, and the oblivion of fun.  But I can also remember three or four times during my childhood stopping, and realizing, “here I am, in this moment in time, 10 years old, in this room” and just pausing and letting that truth be true.

But while as mortals we are weighed down and tied up by the inflexible restraints of time, and painfully reminded of this fact daily by our alarm clocks, this bondage is not the ultimate truth.  The existence of God, and of a universe bigger and richer than the tangible earth around us, brings peace and a hope of something beyond these tents.  While all we can really do is guess at this point, I personally believe God exists outside the restraints of our time.  I also remember as a child sitting in the back of a mini-van, gazing out the window, and trying to wrap my mind around the idea of being in Heaven and living for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever, and laughing at the fact that my little mortal mind could not possibly grasp what that would be like.

I have a fear of wasting time.  Looking back on this past year, I feel satisfied with my use of that precious commodity…this last year for me consisted  of three months in Montana listening to fascinating lectures, two difficult, vivid months in Thailand, six months working at Quest and increasing the width and depth of my relationships there, and as of now two months at Starbucks headquarters, working full-time at a company rife with opportunity.

But whether or not I am personally satisfied with my own productivity, I have a feeling that God’s measurements are different.  His standards of my use of time seem to be balanced by both the urgency of “work out your salvation with fear and trembling”, and the peace of his grace and tolerance for my feeble attempts at living this life right.  I’m so glad to rest in the shadow of his mysterious wings. 

December 10, 2007. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

as simple as something that nobody knows…

I wish I was more consistent with this blog…and I want to be!  But the last couple months, whatever that mysterious substance known as creative juice is, I haven’t had it…

I think there are three possible reasons for this.  My schedule for one; lately I’ve only had the energy to do what needs to be done.  The second reason is that demon of insecurity that grips so many areas of my life…I’ve written and discarded at least three blogs.  Third is simply that I am in a season of life where I just want to listen instead of speak.  I am soaking in the wisdom of others through blogs, c-group, church, books, etc.

So, maybe I’ll blog again tomorrow, or not for awhile?….until then, happy holidays!!!

December 3, 2007. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

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